Coming To An End

You go through the days but still, it comes unexpectedly. Is Ramadhan coming to an end already? It seems that the world moves too fast even though I'm trying hard to keep up.

I've learned something throughout this month, nonetheless. Ramadhan is a decisive defeat on the ego, the rest of year must be spent whittling away at it. There is one regret though, I didn't control wisely the suppress anger that I had for so long to someone. But it's all good, after all this month is about self-reflection.

I will be going back to somewhere in the land of 9 states down south. My parents' hometowns situated only 20km from each other. We've been lucky to be able to celebrate the first Raya on both sides of the family. Alhamdulillah.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all 3 of you who read this blog.
Maaf Zahir Batin.

Eat well.

Tentang Temi: 10 Fakta

Hai kawan-kawan, seorang budak separa kecil bernama Ney telah men'tag' saya di dalam blognya. Oleh kerana mahu memenuhi permintaannya di ambang Aidilfitiri ini, maka saya dengan berbesar hati membuat tag ini. Tag ini berbahasa Melayu, jadi saya harus meneruskannya dengan bahasa Melayu.


1.Sejak lahir lagi, jari manis tangan kiri adalah lebih pendek dari jari manis tangan kanan. Cikgu tusyen saya yang berbangsa Cina pernah menyatakan bahawa maksudnya saya ni banyak 'ong'. Tapi, maaf, saya tetap tidak dapat memberikan 4 nombor ekor kepada anda.

2.Saya suka membaca ruangan Obituary di dalam akhbar berbahasa Inggeris.

3.Mak saya orang Negeri Sembilan, tetapi pernah menetap 10 tahun di Kelantan semasa kecil. Jadi mak saya amat menyukai budaya, makanan, orang Kelantan. Entah kenapa sifat mak saya turun kepada saya. Saya juga mempunyai ramai kawan-kawan berasal dari Kelantan. Kalau saya ditemukan jodoh dengan orang Kelantan, pasti mak saya restu. hahah

4.Ada 2 syarat untuk saya berselera makan nasi. Pedas dan berkuah. Kalau tak pedas mesti berkuah. Kalau pedas tanpa kuah pun boleh. Kalau kedua-duanya sekali lagi syok!

5.Bulan Februari tahun ini saya telah disahkan memunyai penyakit lemah saraf yang pelik. Saya memang berniat hendak menulis mengenai penyakit ini secara terperinci tetapi masa tidak mengizinkan lagi. Mungkin selepas raya.

6.Saya pernah merasai narkotik yang hebat seperti morphine dan ketamine (syok woo naik ke langit!! hehehe), tapi itu hanya untuk menahan sakit selepas pembedahan pada Mei lepas.

7.Paling tidak suka sebarang aktiviti lasak atau pun bersukan. Tetapi berjaya belajar ilmu silat sampai tamat.

8.Seorang manusia 2 alam pernah cuba memberikan RM10 kepada saya kerana saya memanggil dia “Kakak”. Dia kata terharu dengan keikhlasan saya tetapi masa tu saya betul-betul ingat dia perempuan!

9.Nama Temi tidak ada kena-mengena dengan nama betul saya. Kononnya dulu saya bercadang nak bela ikan emas comel dan ikan itu akan dinamakan Temi. Namun sampai sekarang tak bela-bela pon.

10.Saya suka menonton rancangan masakan di tv tetapi saya jarang sekali memasak.

Sekarang saya mahu tag 3 orang rakan yang saya bakal jumpa pada petang ini untuk berbuka:
Cik WRB Hitam
Comot
Maya Daybab

Dan seorang rakan blogger:
Liyana

Does It Feels Good Having A Foam At Your Mouth?

Wars can long for eons, usually when men without brains go all out for it; so people say. Because of it, young people dies from old people's politics; that's how it works, some people say. Every now and then, the more we bursts out our egos on spiteful tirade, the more attitude of ours will be visible to others, not for our friends to see but for our enemies to win without even picking up the gun.

Clearly, for every bullet that we shot to our enemies, just like empty vessels make the loudest sound, its just like shooting blanks. We can shoot all we want, we displayed retaliation in every possible way we can think of to our enemies (because it makes us feel “accomplished” if we showed our rage) but if the battle has no effect on them, they can always walk away unhurt.

Lucky

My good friend, Encik Lipas wrote an inspiring entry in his blog. It's about being lucky. It reminds me that I'm still lucky too.

Back in 2006, she gave a talk in my Uni about her experience battling with breast cancer. I remember vividly that I cried listening to her talking about her worry leaving her husband and their 2 sons if she died. But she was full of energy and spirit. She's adamant to fight off the cancer. From that moment on, I followed her blog religiously. She has become one of my inspirations. She's a strong lady.

Unfortunately, the cancer is back and now spreading to dangerous places in her body. I cried every time I read her blog. I couldn't help it but my prayers are with her.

Things like that made me sit and ponder upon my life. I may be sick also but it's nothing compared to what she is experiencing. Alhamdulillah that despite being sick, I'm still able to live my life without too many complications.

Friends, please pray for her too.

Disgusted

All this while, I know that you've been mean, inconsiderate and unprofessional to this one particular friend of mine. I also know that you've hurt this one particular friend of mine with your scathing words.

And yet you still have the audacity to ask her to accompany you to run your errands.

Consider yourself lucky that you still have this one particular friend of mine who you can count on because you're losing respect from everybody else at that place.

Now you know that I know, don't get back at her. You still have time to save the damage. Sudah-sudahlah tu.

Lost In Twilight

OMG! OMG!

I am so obsessed with the Twilight series right now. Reading the first page of the first book (the series has 4 books); Twilight is like falling in love at first sight. Once you've fall, you're lost in it forever. It took me less than a day to finish up Twilight. Now I'm reading the second book, New Moon.

Lately, for some unfathomable reasons,reading the usual fictional romance or chic-lit books bores me. I even couldn't finish reading Cecelia Ahern's PS, I Love You that Ween gave it to me when I was in hospital. Then I found Twilight at Ms.Prudential's home two nights ago. It's like a breath of fresh air. The storyline quenches the yearning for something more interesting and intriguing to read.

Furthermore, one of the main characters, Edward Cullen has taken my fancy. He's sweet, a little bit masochistic but that's fine with me because otherwise he's just a sissy to me with his sweetness. I love the way he adores Bella (another protagonist of the series), the way he asks too many questions, the way he watches over her and ahhh I could go on and on about him. I am truly obsessed.

I wish to have someone like him for a lover but hey who am I kidding, right? No human matches Edward Cullen. I bet the author agrees with me on this matter because she didn't make Edward Cullen's character a normal human being in the first place. He's a vampire by the way.

The first book, Twilight has been turned into a movie. The movie had chosen Robert Pattinson (the guy who played Cedric Diggory character in Harry Potter movies) as Edward Cullen. A good choice, I must say. Can't hardly wait for the movie to come out. I hope it won't disappoints me.

ps, Thank you Ms.Prudential for lending the books to me :)

A Long Entry

I was the first one to arrive at neuro clinic last Friday. A petite nurse called Mary greeted me with a cheerful good morning. Then she took my blood pressure and my weight while making a small chat with me. I waited for about 2 hours for my turn to meet my neurologist as she had ward rounds before meeting with appointments.

We discussed about my current condition, ptosis on my left eye. So I've been looking like a freak for about 2 weeks now. My left eyelid drooped so low sometimes I can barely open my left eye. It is such a hassle for my vision, there were times where I miscalculated my steps and stepped/stumbled onto something. I also slipped and almost fell twice. My poor ankles are getting swollen. When I'm out in the public, people stared and gave a weird look. I could even sense a pity look from some people. Now I know how it feels to be on the 'other' side. But still I braved my daily life with a style, a fake Armani sunnies to pacify my vanity. Heheh

When my turn came, my neurologist asked me to undergo another blood test. This time my blood had to be taken out from both arms because the nurse got nervous on the first attempt. While the tiny needle was halfway in my vein, her hands shook a little (pain!) and air bubble got into the syringe instead of blood. She apologized profusely to me saying that my veins are too small. I didn't mind at all because I've been told a lot that my veins are tiny. After that I hung around the neuro clinic waiting for the result with my feelings a little bit shaken. If the result don't look good, my neurologist told me that I have to be warded immediately and started an intravenous treatment. To kill the time, my beloved friends Comot and EditorAnne called me to cheer me up.

Thankfully my result was okay. But then came the mystery, what triggered my ptosis? Furthermore, the current medications are strong enough. It could probably happened from those times when I tried to fast, but it was only for a few days. My neurologist explained to me that this neuromuscular disease that I'm having is indeed a baffling one. She reminded me that it could've been worst, better ptosis than the disability to walk or even breath! The solution for now is to increase the dosage of the medications. So my battle with the side-effects continues...

To tell you truth I am actually frustrated, confused and sad because the ptosis has affected my self-esteem a little bit. However I put up a happy face for the sake of my parents. It breaks my heart to see them worry about me ever since I got sick. During our Sate Minang Gang post-berbuka conversation, Akak Daybab mentioned about positive energy. That's what I intend to do, staying positive.

Some of you would love to go around to everyone about your little sickness, because you think people give more attention if you're sick and you enjoy being sympathized. Put yourself in my shoes. I bet you won't like it. It's time for you to stop being too insecure and start counting your blessings.

After all, you're still healthy and look normal. So please, be thankful!

A Filler Entry

Hey ho, yours truly is still breathing though not feeling too great, health-wise. Will only blog about it after my appointment with my neurologist this coming Friday.

I don't know about you guys but the weather lately has made me listen to 50 First Dates soundtrack on repeat . Somehow the tropical, Hawaiian feel of the soundtrack harmonized the damp, dreary weather. Some random thoughts/events/notes to share for no particular purpose. Here goes:

- Lenny Kravitz is a love song genius
- Mondok and Comot came and hang out with me on Saturday. Thanx for the Asam Laksa, Comot!
- Going to Ramadhan bazaar with friends is always entertaining
- I hate shopping for anything but I need a new pair of Raya shoes
- Rowena Ravenclaw is actually a nice name. Now it reminds me to finish up the last 2 books of Harry Potter.
- I have tons of ideas for a book but still can't bring myself to write properly.
- Akak Daybab, you're a lovely person and so does your brownies! (nak sikittt..heheh)
- Ney: habislah hang, ada orang dah tiru cara hang tulis/cakap (*gelak jahat)
- Why, after all these times, you still haven't realized that your attention-grabbing attitude is driving me crazy till I don't give a damn about how you feel or think because I think it's all fake.

Peace out.