Kasih Tak Sampai-Sampai

The last 2 months had been quite busy for me. I couldn't find a time to sit down and ponder upon my life and then blog about it. Even when I had the time, I'd rather do something else other than blogging.

So I finally got a much needed rest since yesterday. All previous weekends saw me going somewhere and doing something. One of my friend pointed out that it's amazing that I had this much energy with my unpredictable health status. Speaking of health, my neurologist is still unsure about defining my current status. She said that I'm not "into remission" yet, since I failed a few test. It is only under-controlled for now. The next test is in June. Let's just pray for the best. I'm too tired to worry about it. Whatever will be, will be...

Ok well..let's move along.

I realized that not everything comes along just when I want it. And I think I dream too much. I hope too much, too. And so far it gives me nothing. I've been told that I probably hope for the wrong things but trust me, all the things that I wish for so far is nothing like as rich as the Sultan of Brunei or Brad Pitt lookalike. I wish for the simpler things, in fact sometimes too nondescript.

When I heard the news the other day, it made me sad again. Although I believe in fate and Allah's mysterious ways, I couldn't help but feel devastated. Maybe something that I've been hoping to happen is not good for me, I don't know. Maybe I'm not good enough to hope for that something to happen. Maybe I'm not good enough for anything at all, maybe, maybe....

Reality hits me hard. I don't want to hope for anything no more because in the end it will only makes me sad.

The Emperor's New Clothes

I'm beginning to loathe the growing hypocrisy at that place. The King's head is getting bigger because he thinks things are going so well under his rule. However, certain individuals who are from the lower level got discriminated by The King and their minor mistakes were put under the microscope. Even when those individuals had done a lot of great things to that place, The King totally forgot about it. On the other hand, people who knows how to talk and kiss ass received an enormous respect from The King. Strangely, The King also has this unfathomable belief that people from the upper level are always right.

I wonder what goes on inside the head of that pompous King who thinks he knew better just because he's the leader. Yeah fine, some people made mistakes but that didn't mean that you have the right to make fun of those people and their qualifications. At least they have something to be proud of unlike The King who doesn't have a high qualification and not even a vast experience. Shamefully,The King had been spoon fed by The Empress Dowager to be where he is now.

Since I'm all against tyranny, I've been refraining myself far too many times from lashing out to that King. I'm not sure how long I can take his shit so I've started looking out for a better option. But I'm praying hard that someday The King will get a horrible constipation learn his lesson from belittling other people. I mean come on, if you really believe in yourself, you don't have to bring other people down, right?

Three Oh

I'm addicted to Photofunia

According to Mak, I was supposed to be born on December 28, 1979. However, Allah has greater plans for me, Mak gave birth to me on January 5th, 1980.

So today, I'm just glad that I am celebrating my 30th instead of 31st birthday.

Alhamdulillah, I am leading a relatively normal live even though I still depend on high-level of medications.

Plus, I am blessed with a loving family and great friends.

I am just so glad.

Ramblings Here And There

I would like to thank my very good friend for taking this picture of my feet. It had inspired me to design this simple header.

The Wicked Witch With The Fragile Bone Soul
Apparently, she still thinks she's the angel, the savior of the people even when everyone has realized she lied and lied true her teeth every single time. She had spread vicious words and twisted her stories so that SOME individuals listened to her but little did she knew that she's losing her claws over lots of people.

We shall see how the drama will unfolds....

Footnote: Over 10 years ago, I could never imagined that it will turn out this sour.

So How Low Can You Go?

Between reading, socializing, researching, plot-writing and psp-ing..I totally forgot about blogging.

And I don't want to comment here about the recent drama of lying, scheming and manipulating. Some people might get defensive. As always. Heh :P

Besides, I have my Private Rants. ;)

Don't worry, I'm still alive. Lucky for you, I'm still single haha

p/s I love Isabel Allende's books! Go Google. Too lazy to provide links.

Stop Faking It

You have a constant aura of putting on airs. Look how calm I am even when I'm injured! In trying too hard not to appear self-consciously cool, it comes off as false. I would have appreciated at least you acknowledging how different your "recent mishap" is, rather than you're acting like it's the most normal thing in the world. Your current condition doesn't need to apologize for, but you shouldn't pretend either.

Newsflash: I Know!

I know that you'd been lying all along. I know that you'd been lying a lot. I also know that you've been using lies as a tool for emotional blackmail. Being yourself is not enough for people to give their attention to you, is it? Oh come on! When are you going to grow out of this insecurity?

I feel sorry for some of your devoted people around you. They didn't know how much you lied to them. You spun you own web of lies and manipulated their trust for your own emotional benefit. How much further are you going to lie?

Sometimes I just want to tell it to your face that I can't stand your lying anymore. But lying is too ingrained in yourself that made it too hard for you to be honest about anything at all.

Go on and fool them but you can fool me no more. My trust on you is like butterfly wings. Fragile. Maybe your forgot, but bridging a gap will never work with lies.

Enough is enough. I beg you, stop lying. Please.