Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Delete Me, Hapus Aku

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is one of my favorite movies and it never fails to make me shed a tear or two even though I've watched the movie countless timess. The opposite of the typical romantic Hollywood film, this movie brings me to such a personal level it hurts.

So if you have watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, you'd also be familiar with Lacuna Inc. In that movie, this company specializes in wiping specific memories away forever. Sometimes we'd surely feel trapped in the slippery, chaotic unpredictability of the worlds we construct from our memories and experiences. Just imagine if we have something like Lacuna Inc. in real life, instead of dealing with the pain and suffering of your past, you can erase people and moments from your memory, and move on with your life, without giving it another thought. Imagine your bad relationships can disappear. Your painful experiences blotted out. Your unbearable sorrows gone.

Of course in real life, no such thing thing as erasing memory is possible but watching this movie gives me what I secretly wish for, a chance to forget something that's hurt me in the past.

Memories, they don't fade easily.

Note to self: Next time don't listen to Nidji's Hapus Aku after watching Eternal Sunshine!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dear Comot

Dia mahu jadi penanam kobis suatu hari nanti

Even though you’re younger than us, and we bullied you a lot, (well, most of the time Shamam bullies you a lot) we actually love you and care about you so much. Personally, I think highly of you because you’re such an independent person and having lost both of your parents at young age, you survived this life. Therefore on your birthday, I pray to Allah that you will be granted all the hapiness in the world. Thank you for your support, you’ve become one of the most important people in my life. Whatever happens, be strong and remember, you have us!

Happy 17th Birthday!

Tips to stay younger like me: minus 10 years from your birthday hahah

I’ll see you tonight, eh? ;)

Monday, May 18, 2009


Emergency Ward, HSPSDG

Hi, how' s the world treating you?

I am now recuperating at home after being hospitalized (again!) for a week. It was a very shocking experience, I am probably still in denial about it.

All through out the week, I remained calm even though there might be possibility for me to be wheelchair-bound forever. I think it was because I don't want my parents especially my Mom to be so worried. I couldn't bear seeing my Mom crying.

Earlier tonight, I had dinner with 2 of my best friends since high school. We had a very profound conversation. For the first time since last week, I can finally cry. I cried and cried, sobbing, snot and all. But now I feel much better emotionally.

I'm so glad I have such wonderful people around me.

Don't worry, I am fine now. Refusing lumbar puncture is a big risk for me, but I can walk again. It was just a scare.

I hope.