Let me introduce you to those little suckers above. They entered my life since I've been diagnosed in February and have become a contradiction. Those are my medication drugs, among them is a high-powered steroid. They can cause harm to me but still they hold an important role in my life, to keep me healthy from the disease.
Hence, their appearance pose a new challenge in my life. I may not be able to fast at all on this coming Ramadhan. In the previous follow up, my neurologist has already warned me about this issue. She advised me not to skip medications especially this one particular pill that I have to take 5 times daily. For the past few weeks, I did my own experiments to prepare myself for Ramadhan. I skipped from taking my medications when it's due just to see if my body can handle it. As expected, my muscles got weak easily and the old bulbar symptoms like droopy eyelid (ptosis) came back. I don't really mind having a mild dysarthria because I'm not much of a talker nowadays. The other thing, I also started to choke a little bit when swallowing my own saliva (dysphagia). But when I had the difficulty to breath, it scares me. In order to feel and look normal, I have to depend on drugs. How messed up is that?!
Fasting is one of the things that I took for granted when I was truly healthy. After accepting the fact that I am sick, I regret for not valuing what Ramadhan has to offer before. I really want to feel the barakah of Ramadhan but now I might not be able to practice the essence of it which is fasting.
What if this is my last Ramadhan?
*sigh*
Have a blessed Ramadhan, everyone. Please pray for me, hati saya sayu...
10 comments:
uhuks.... sedih nyer saya... jgn skip makan obat ok.... bahaya!!!!
jgn lerr sayu... sedih... kuatkan semangat yea.. makan ubat.. semoga cepat sembuh dan tak yah makan ubat lagi...
* runs off to temi and hugs her tightly
there, there jangan sedih sedih
org nak ajak gi makan satey minang.... tapi shamam kene blk umah awal plak.. takpe... nnt bulan posa kiter gi
wo~ =O
sabar ye...but thankful we can be a part of ramadhan again...
*hugs*
u know i luvu :)
aaw... your entry touched my heart.. :(
kami semua sayang kamu..
pls continue to be strong.. my support always goes to you and you know that.
plan sabtu ini saya mahu kensel kerana saya mahu anda rehat. i insist.
huhu, jgn sedey sgt weh, sedeh aku uhuk2..
ya Allah.. dgn berkatMu di bulan mulia ini.. limpahknlah rahmat kesihatan, ketenangan dan kebahagiaan kepada sahabatku ini.. panjangkn umurnya beserta keberkatan drMu, terimalah semua amal ibadah & ampunilah dosa sepanjang kehidupannya ya Allah..
aminn ya rabbal alamin :)~
kesian memang kesian, tapi do you really need that so much kesian depressing ur days. enuff boo-hoo's already. cheer up girl!!
it's not the years in your life,
it's the life in your years that counts.
p/s thanx for the first comment
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